The unexpected declaration of love.

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up:

If a guy punches you, he likes you.

Never try to trim your own bangs.

And someday you will meet a wonderful guy

and get your very own happy ending.

and your commitment to each other.

Every movie we see,

every story we're told...

...implores us to wait for it.

But sometimes we're so focused

on finding our happy ending...

...we don't learn how to read the signs.

How to tell the ones who want us

from the ones who don't.

The ones who will stay

from the ones who will leave. 

And maybe this happy ending

doesn't include a wonderful guy.

Maybe it's you...

...on your own...

...picking up the pieces and starting over.

Freeing yourself up

for something better in the future.

Maybe the happy ending is just...

...moving on.

- He's Just Not Into You

Books and prejudices

Something today happened which made me realize how certain books from the very beginning try and influence our thinking. Right from the very start, the people around us try and impose their thinking and experiences onto us and so does the books. I used to think that the books are usually neutral but, today while reading a fairy tale story to a kid, I realized how our opinions about things and people are shaped from the very beginning. How fairies and princess are always very pretty and beautiful and how step-mothers are always very cruel. Over the last few days, I have been reading different fairy stories to a 5 year old little girl. Whenever she looks at the pictures of a fairy or the princess in the story book, she is always fascinated with the looks and never fails to comment on the good looks of these characters in the picture. Today while I was reading to her and as I mentioned a step-mother, she immediately said that the step mother must be very cruel and would not treat her step-child nicely and would be rude to him/her. This comment of her made me think about how from the very beginning, we link certain specific attributes to certain people and thereby our reactions and impressions are based accordingly thereby making us prejudiced or biased. And that is where our impressions and perceptions about people starts building up!

Irony in Values

During the two years of training in social work, we are taught the principles of social work where where the first and foremost principle is being non-judgmental.

Today was talking to a person about an organisation she wanted to apply to but wasn't so sure if she should apply or not and it was a little difficult for her to take the final decision. Just to help her in the decision making, I simply asked her the question regarding what is troubling her the most in regard to applying or not. The answer was "frankly speaking it is the fear of being judged by the people here". There have been instances in past when one's classmate had stopped talking based on the decision other person took for himself/herself during the placement season. The girl here added that after the placement season we still have few months here so what if people get to know that I had applied to this particular organisation, what will their reaction be.

Her this reply made me think, what principles and values do we apply as social workers. Is it that the values we learn during classes to be applied only on field or just applied when it is convenient for us. We might be very accepting and non-judgmental in our field while interacting with the client or might talk about ethics of social work while questioning another colleague. But then what about applying the same principle in our personal lives. Being non-judgmental and accepting people as they are or accepting their decision. We are told, as a social worker our role is not to take decision on other person's behalf but it is to help a person take an informed decision and whatever decision one takes, we should not question the person because the decision the person takes is after a lot of thinking process and analyzing all the dimensions related to it.

The question which arises in my mind at the moment is How can one person keep the professional and personal values so separate that the values might be on extremes. Won't it be an irony or a hypocrisy that a person who on field is completely non judgmental and accepts the people as they are but whereas when it comes to accepting one's colleagues and friends, becomes so judgmental that others around develop a fear of being judged and therefore do not even feel safe to take up a decision regarding one own self...

Somethings for me to do this year...

Each year as the new year comes and the previous one fades, we all tend to introspect and see if we did follow the resolutions we made last year at the same time. And as its time again for the new year, a new beginning, I am here again thinking through the year gone by... there has been loads of happy as well as not so happy moments during the year 2011. But then I have no regrets now..though throughout the year I used to be bothered by the not so happy moments, but on introspection I realise that these are the moments which taught me a lot about life in general as well as about myself- my strengths as well as weaknesses and I emerge as a more stronger person to take on life. The year made me realise the importance of the people who are a part of my life...met some really good people during this year who inspired me, loved me and cared for me. I grew as a person and as an individual. One compliment which came through a friend really made my year- “You are a strong and independent woman which I wish to be”. This is one thing which I always wanted to be and here I am..a strong and independent girl!

There are few things I would want to continue or start during this new year. Won’t say that these are my new year resolutions but will be thing which I will make sure I do this year for sure.

1. There were times when I used to write. Did start my blog too but over time the blog was neglected and I stopped writing. This year will surely take out time and pen my thoughts and maybe write some nice poems too.
2. It s been a year now that I was gifted a guitar by my sister because I always wanted to learn and play guitar but despite being an owner of the guitar, I still did not take out time and learn how to play. Hence, this year I promise myself to learn and practice playing every day.
3. This year I got back to playing basketball but one game I still haven’t gone back to playing again is badminton. So this year, I will make an effort to get back to the game.
4. Read at least few pages of a book every day before I go to bed.
5. Regulate my sleep timings and thus, sleep and wake up on time unlike the pattern I have been following over the last one month.
6. Learn to handle a DSLR and hopefully click some nice pictures.
7. Take care of my health and eat on time and not to skip meals come what may.
8. Be more confident and find some clarity in life. Though it is said that confusion is the best state of mind as it makes you think but need a little bit clarity in life.
9. Get back to following what I learnt in my Art of Living course and meditate or do the Sudarshan Kriya every day. And also eventually go for the advance course of Art of Living.
10. Make sure that I do all the above for sure this year and have fun this year!
Cheers!!